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Three nuns at the Pearly Gates - 92

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are
met by St. Peter. He says "Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives
that I'm granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you
want to be."

The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and *poof* she's
gone.

The second says, "I want to be Madonna;" and *poof* she's gone.

The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini."

St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.

"Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says; "I'm sorry, but that name just
doesn't ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St.
Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her
and says "No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that
was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."

There are Ducks in heaven - 85

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!'

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.

It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on .... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?'

The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.